Getting Your Loved One On Board With At-Home Senior Care: A How To Guide
Discussing senior care with someone who refuses additional support can be challenging, especially when that support is necessary. Here are some of our top tips.
It’s an all too common scenario: children suggesting to their parents that at-home senior care may be necessary, only to be met with resistance, reluctance, and outright refusal. If you and your family are familiar with this scenario, you’ve probably felt hopeless at some point as you watch your parent’s health, home, and happiness decline. With busy lives, children, work, and other personal obligations, providing around-the-clock care yourself isn’t always feasible – even when it is apparent that your loved one needs it. There are many scenarios in which a senior caregiver may be necessary from mobility decline, dementia, chronic illness, and more. Entering the Golden Years often comes with an added level of difficulty to everyday tasks. As the years pass, simple things tend to become more and more difficult. Bringing up these difficult conversations often leads to feelings of anger, frustration, and sadness. It can be difficult for seniors to admit when help is needed, especially for those who wish to hold on to their independence. Independence – the golden ticket to a productive conversation. Learning exactly how senior home care can foster an independent lifestyle for your loved one may give you tools for having a convincing argument the next time your parent(s) opposes the help of a senior caregiver. Navigating this conversation with empathy, patience, and understanding is key to ensuring that your loved one feels respected. Keep reading to learn how to manage the delicate balance between being honest with your loved one about their situation and remaining compassionate.
See Things From Their Perspective
There may be plenty of driving factors for your loved one’s wish to remain independent in their older years. Whatever their reasoning may be, they’re certainly not alone. 92% of older adults would rather age at home than in an assisted living facility. That statistic may be influenced by the fact that roughly 80% of seniors are homeowners, often owning the same home for years and years. For many seniors, this means that the home in which they reside is the same home that set the scene for their children’s childhood, the home that grandchildren have come to visit for years, and the home filled with photos and memories of their life up to that point. For most of us, the wish to remain in an environment in which we are comfortable is completely understandable. Unfortunately, some individuals feel as though their comfort may be compromised if there were to be a “stranger”, or hired caregiver, in the home. Others may fear that needing regular help is a sign of weakness or dependence. Try to communicate that utilizing the assistance of a senior care agency would be extremely beneficial to their well-being – while remaining empathetic to their concerns. Making sure that your parent(s) know that you truly respect their wishes to age in place and recognize a need for additional support is key to beginning a productive conversation about at-home senior care. The next step is explaining how much easier aging in place could be with some additional support.
How to Start The Discussion
First off, try to refrain from using language such as “you can’t” and “you need”. Instead, focus on phrases such as “I’ve noticed” and “how do you feel about”. Caring language can make a world of difference when approaching difficult conversations. While it may be true that they can’t take care of themselves and their home the way they used to, your loved one probably does not need the reminder. This can make them feel ashamed, embarrassed, and helpless.
For example, instead of “You can’t keep the house clean anymore”, try something along the lines of “How would you feel if someone came by to help tidy up a few times a week?”.
Instead of “You need someone to watch over you in case you fall”, you could try “I’ve noticed that your balance has been off lately, would it make you feel safer to have someone around?”.
Re-framing the conversation to include their input instead of just your opinion, although it is valid, could open the door to a more productive conversation about senior home care.
Acknowledge how much your parent(s) enjoy their home, and that you also want them to remain in it. Use this as a jumping point to explain all of the reasons why at-home senior care could help them remain independent while they age in place.
How Senior Home Care Could Help Your Loved One Remain Independent
Your parent’s goal is to remain independent for as long as possible – that’s fair. Supported independence could be the solution for prolonged senior independence. The great thing about senior home care is that services are completely personalized. If your loved one doesn’t need help with grooming, bathing, or toileting, that’s not something that any senior caregiver would insist on taking over. Invite your loved one to participate in a conversation with a senior caregiver agency near you to get an idea of what services are offered – as well as what services are necessary for your loved one to thrive. Support can be as minimal as needed for your parents to keep their autonomy and independence. Some services that most senior home care agencies offer include:
- Companion Care: Companion care is often an umbrella term for a wide range of tasks including safety monitoring during exercise, facilitating hobbies such as gardening or painting, caring for pets, reminders for medication and special events, supporting mental stimulation through puzzles or other activities, and so much more. Of course, companion care can simply mean keeping your loved one company as they watch TV, read, or relax.
- Personal Care: This is often a difficult one for seniors who resist the idea of hiring a senior caregiver. Personal care is, well, personal. Understandably, some seniors may not be comfortable with the idea of someone helping them with their grooming, bathing, dressing, and toileting. There typically is a level of comfortability that is developed over time, especially with a consistent caregiver or team of caregivers.
- Respite Care: Familial caregivers need support too. Respite care is short-term, temporary care on an as-needed basis. As mentioned earlier, it can be difficult to fulfill all of your obligations while keeping time to assist your loved one with all of their needs as well. While they may initially be more comfortable with your help, they may also worry about taking too much of your time. Utilizing respite caregiver services from time to time when life gets busy can prevent caregiver burnout as well as prevent your loved one from feeling like a burden on their children.
- Household Services: Many seniors require some assistance with tasks such as taking out the trash, doing laundry, or cleaning the floors. Many caregivers are open to running errands, grocery shopping, and more. It is important to discuss what household services may be offered as this can vary between agencies
- Memory Loss and Dementia Care: Age-related memory loss or diagnosed dementia/Alzheimer’s is a gradual progression of symptoms. Families should create a care plan to lower the risk of a crisis – this should include a dementia caregiver. Most changes in the brain that cause dementia are permanent and worsen over time. The best time to start discussing a senior caregiver is in the earliest stages of dementia. Providing care for someone with dementia is physically and emotionally demanding, so be sure that any proposed caregiver has experience and training in dementia care. At Serving Senior Care, our caregivers have an extensive understanding of how to deal with dementia and memory loss clients.
If your parent has dementia and is resistant to at-home senior care, it is advised to seek professional help. It is not uncommon for dementia patients to be largely unaware of their condition. This could pose a significant issue when suggesting home support. Without proper support and supervision, your loved one could be at risk.
- Palliative and Hospice Support: Many senior caregivers are specifically trained to work alongside hospice staff. Hospice caregivers should be trained to look for conditions that can compromise comfort such as skin breakdowns. Depending on the condition of each client, a caregiver can provide companionship, meal preparation, medication reminders, bathing, dressing, grooming, oral care, bed care, transferring and repositioning, and more.
It is important to keep in mind that every senior caregiver has different experience and training, and senior care agencies may offer different services. It is vital to do your research to ensure that whomever you and your loved one choose is a good fit. For a senior caregiver in the Bay Area, contact Serving Seniors Care today.
Final Thoughts
Getting your loved one on board with hiring a senior care service may not be an easy feat, but the efforts are worthwhile. Having additional support in the home could equate to a safer environment for your aging loved one, as well as improve their well-being. If the conversation is difficult to navigate alone, involving your loved one’s doctor or social worker in the conversation may help the seriousness of the topic resonate with them. By addressing concerns about health and safety with a healthcare professional, your loved one may be more open to the idea of hiring support. A collaborative approach involving both medical professionals and family members can also help ensure that the chosen senior home care plan aligns with your loved one’s overall health and well-being goals.
How We Can Help
Serving Seniors Care is committed to delivering exceptional care that goes above and beyond client expectations or industry norms. Your loved one is sure to feel comfortable with any of our experienced and compassionate caregivers. We strongly believe in treating every client like family and that commitment is showcased by the work that we do. Our passion is further highlighted by our five-star reviews. Our experienced senior home care providers are equipped with the skills and expertise to provide a wide range of services that can be tailored to your loved one’s personal needs. From companionship and assistance with daily activities to medication reminders, grooming care, and more – our team is here to ensure your loved one is comfortable and well cared for at all times. Senior home care allows your loved one to continue to live comfortably in a familiar environment where they can remain surrounded by memories they have created over the years while holding on to their independence.